


Gods Forgiven

by TheForrestofFanfic



Series: Gods [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Merlin is a Little Shit, Morgana has something to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 13:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15292473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheForrestofFanfic/pseuds/TheForrestofFanfic
Summary: Back to the desolate and dingy pub but this time Morgana is determined to change something about everyone's favourite sorcerer.





	Gods Forgiven

**Author's Note:**

> Not necessarily set following the first part of the series but certainly within that universe.

There he was again. Merlin who was once a young, innocent, clumsy boy slumps over ale which must’ve been his 15th or maybe it was far more. It was always too hard to tell with him.

“You can’t keep doing this.” She took the seat next to him and waved away the pub staff who were about to refill his drink.  Merlin puffed out a dry chuckle.

“What? Drinking?” He refused to look at her like a child refused to make eye contact with his mother when they broke something in the house. It was as if the mere sight of her killed him and after a couple of centuries of that it was enough.

“Blaming me for all of your problems.” Morgana was a smart woman – even before the two centuries of immortality she’d been cursed with.

“Why not?” He drank the deluge that lingered at the end of his glass. “You seem quite happy to remind me of them.”

“What? By existing!” A few heads turned . “It’s not my fault that the Gods decided that I was destined for immortality no more than it is yours that you are here to walk alone with me.”

“No it’s not. But you have and always will be a constant reminder to me that I wasn’t good enough. That I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t help you.” That self righteous, selfless yet arrogantly selfish prick.

“Yes yes boo hoo you couldn’t save me. Do you have any other setting than self hatred?” She watched his pink, chapped lips turn to a smirk but it dissipated quickly after. He wasn’t much of a smiler anymore.  “You’ve spent two centuries helping people, pointing humanity in the right direction, fighting against me every step of the way but you still come here to this damn tavern-”

“Pub.”

“I don’t care what you call it you condescending bastard! You come to this damn pub once a year and drown yourself in the sorrows of a dead man who is literally centuries old.” He did turn then.

“If I had been better! If I hadn’t listened to that stupid lizard, if I hadn’t listened to Gaius or the druids then you would be saved,” Merlin began to raise his voice, she could hear the thunder from inside and rolled her eyes as he towered over her.  “Mordred- God Mordred that kid looked up to me and I sent him down the path that killed Arthur! I could have saved them all.” His breath was laboured, his fists curled and his brow creased but Morgana barely moved.

“Yes you could have but you didn’t and for that matter how the hell do you know that’s what would’ve happened? How do you know that telling me about your magic would have made everything worse or if you had trusted Mordred more, maybe that would’ve made him more of an adversary? You aren’t a God Merlin! Even if you think you are one!” She stood from her chair and walked out leaving him there, if he wanted to drown himself in alcohol and self loathing then he could do that for the next two damn centuries!

As soon as she walked out the pub however, she found herself in Merlin’s apartment. Teleportation. Perhaps the most irritating part of his all powerful warlock bullshit. Sure she could teleport, even her sister could teleport, even that old hag on the first day she spotted Merlin could bloody teleport but no one could do it or would do it like Emrys.

“I’m not a God Morgana. That’s never been my problem. My problem has always been that I’m not.” Morgana took a deep breath and faced him, he stood in front of her; a white buttoned shirt and blue denim jeans looking every bit the modern man.

“I know and I understand, I mean Christ I’ve had two centuries to understand and to contemplate every detail of my life in Camelot as have you. But you’re stuck; you’ve been stuck since Mordred was killed, since I was killed, since Arthur was killed since everyone died.” Seeing that idiot’s face turn away at the uproot of all his worst memories kindled some empathy inside her but he needed to listen for once in his life. “You want to stop feeling like you let them down then you do what they would have wanted,” He went to open his dumb mouth before she carried on talking over him. “You live your life Merlin, you will never forget them just like me but unlike me you let yourself soak in their deaths like you had complete control of the situation.”

“Maybe I did.” He offered weakly.

“Maybe you did. Sure, you certainly had choices, we all had choices and we all didn’t make the right ones all the time. At the end of the day Merlin, you had a choice and sometimes you made the right call, sometimes you didn’t. The Gods control destiny, not how you get to a certain one.” They’d both become sombre now perhaps reeling from their deep conversation, perhaps from the reminder of the dead or their first life which was arguably better than anything after. Ironically, the myths of their lives for everyone else was the most real certainly she and likely he had ever felt.

“What do I do?” He meandered over to her, his eyes firmly planted to the ground.

“I don’t know Merlin.” She lifted his chin so his eyes would meet hers. The distinctive blue bore into her own dark green and they stood inches from each other for mere moments. “But you can sit and wallow in your own self pity or you can change and for better or worse, it’s something different.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” She enveloped him in a hug and his arms came lightly around her waist and for the first time in two centuries she felt him calm in her presence. One step was good enough for now but it certainly wasn’t the end just the end of the beginning.


End file.
